He spent $5,000 on ads and didn’t get a single sale. What we fixed had nothing to do with the product – and everything to do with how he was describing it.
I read his landing page like a customer – and had no idea what the hell he was selling.
The headline was vague. The product description was full of buzzwords. The benefits were buried five scrolls deep.
It was copy that tried to sound smart… and failed to say anything.
We didn’t touch the product. We didn’t touch the pricing. We didn’t even touch the funnel. We rewrote the landing page using one framework.
And a few weeks later?
The conversion rate spiked.
The ads started performing.
And the product didn’t just move – it sold out.
Here’s the brutal truth most eCommerce founders don’t want to hear: People don’t buy what they don’t understand.
And if your landing page confuses them, they leave – no matter how good the offer is. This isn’t a traffic problem. It’s a clarity problem. And it can be fixed – with words.
Here’s the landing page rewrite strategy we used – and how you can use it before burning another dollar on ads.
1. Say What You Sell – Clearly and Immediately
Most landing pages read like TED Talk summaries. They try to be clever. Poetic. “On-brand.” But in doing so, they bury the one thing that actually matters:
What is the product?
We replaced a vague line like:
“Elevate your everyday hydration ritual.”
with:
“Insulated water bottles that keep drinks cold for 36 hours.”
No branding team applauded. But customers instantly understood it.
“Make the value so obvious it sounds stupid.” – Alex Hormozi
And it worked. Clever doesn’t convert. Clear does.
2. Start With The Pain – Not The Product
My client had a list of product features he was proud of. Fair enough – it was a good product.
But here’s the thing: People don’t care about what a product is. They care about what it fixes. So we flipped the script.
Instead of leading with specs, we started with the customer’s frustration:
“Tired of bottles that leak and leave your drinks lukewarm in an hour?”
Now we had their attention.
Hormozi says the key to selling is being able to articulate your customer’s pain better than they can. Because once you do that, they assume you have the best solution.
If you don’t start with their problem, they’ll never care about your product.
3. Headlines Aren’t Taglines – They’re Conversion Tests
My client had a tagline. It was elegant. Polished. Totally useless.
Customers don’t scroll for taglines. They skim for headlines that make them stop and think: “Oh – this is what I’ve been looking for.”
So we rewrote the headline using one simple rule:
Be ugly, but obvious.
Instead of:
“Engineered for Everyday Excellence”
We went with:
“Finally – a leakproof bottle that stays cold all day and actually fits in your car’s cup holder.”
Guess which one worked?
A headline isn’t there to impress. It’s there to earn the scroll.
Bonus: People Don’t Buy Products. They Buy Better Versions of Themselves.
Your customer doesn’t want your product. They want what your product gives them.
Better energy. More confidence. Less stress. That’s what they’re buying – even if they don’t say it out loud.
We stopped describing ingredients. We started describing outcomes.
“11 natural adaptogens to support cognitive performance.”
became:
“Feel calm, focused, and clear-headed – all day long.”
Hormozi puts it perfectly: “People don’t buy products. They buy a better version of themselves.”
So we stopped selling bottles. And we started selling control, relief, and energy.
That’s when people started buying.
Clarity Converts. Every Time.
If your landing page isn’t converting, stop changing your product. Start changing your words.
You don’t need to redesign the entire brand. You don’t need to spend more on traffic. You just need to explain your product in a way your customer instantly understands.
Say what it is. Speak to their pain. Show them what they become.
Confusion kills conversions. Clarity prints money.
If this resonated, here’s what to do next:
→ If you’re tired of content that fills space instead of driving sales, let’s talk. Schedule a quick demo.
→ If you’re ready to turn product pages, email flows, landing copy, and more into silent salespeople for your brand, subscribe to either our Unlimited Standard Plan or Unlimited Professional Plan to get started.
Your story deserves better than generic copy.
We make it unforgettable.